My musings on different political topics relevant to America today.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Country Boys...


Hello everybody! This is my first blog post ever! I have recently graduated from college and I wish to keep up my writing, so from now on I intend to post a blog post weekly to do so.  They will range from completely insignificant to serious and boring, nevertheless I hope and pray that I will be at least slightly entertaining.  So here it goes!

I have talked with great passion before about this subject with my friends.  It is a subject that is close to my heart.  Few things stirrrr my inner American and make me wanna saddle up and giddie up out into the wild blue yonder more than the iconic country boy. This mythical character has penetrated his way into American folklore ever since Roy Rogers and continues to rear his head into hollywood and beyond.  I figured such a character so quintessential to all things American must be further analyzed by none other than myself.  I began this quest by first turning to the holy grail of American culture, Urban dictionary.  Here was the first definition to come up, liked by more people than any other...

I love that last line, "LADIES LOVE COUNTRY BOYS!" This definition fully encapsulates the myth of the Country Boy.  He is ruggedly clean cut, but knows how to get down and dirty.  He is a hard working man, and he can swoon any girls heart.  Many girls (particularly in suburbia), truly believe that this mythical man exists.  (Just check out Do girls really go for country boys ? if you don't believe me) In particular, this mythical man stands in contrast to the stark reality of the pitiful excuse for men they have to put up with everyday in the drabby, boring, suburban wasteland. (Just replace the word "teenage" with the word "suburban" In the song, "teenage wasteland," by The Who, and one gets an idea what is in these girls' brains) The "Country Boy," is ultimately the fictitious, idealized, romanticized image of men who live in the country that suburban girls have latched onto as an escape from the vile suburban man.  It is the proverbial grass is greener on the other side syndrome.  What is right in front of you is never better than what is far away from you.

One of these girls may say, "but, country boys do exist! I have met them! They listen to country music! They drive pickup trucks! Oh! And they wear wrangler jeans!" Well I would hate to break it to her, but what she has described is the Poser country boy.  See, country music has stirred in woman's hearts a demand for country boys.  Therefore, men have went out of their way to create a supply, to use economic jargon.  They in reality live in the suburban wasteland like the rest of us, however, they constantly live in denial about it.  They ritualistically observe all the practices of the mythical country boy, but don't actually live in the country.  They never worked on a farm or a ranch.  Usually, they overemphasize any connection they have to the country, though in reality they rarely have more of a claim on even that compared to the rest of us.  What makes them "Country Boys" is their die hard loyalty to a particular genre of music, their choice of car, and their brand of clothes.  Is it symbolism without the substance.  They look like the idealized country boy many women swoon over without actually being one.  They are Poser country boys.

I figured I will provide my audience now with a more accurate definition of what an actual "Country Boy" is really like.  First, an actual bonafide country boy actually lives in the country.  He most likely works in agriculture, but not necessarily.  In addition, being white is not a prerequisite.  In fact, many are actually latino.  They are just as varied in their music tastes as anyone else.  Often, they absolutely hate the countryside, and want to move to the city as soon as they can.  Like suburban girls, they also suffer a case of grass is greener on the other side syndrome.  However, their case of it is far more rational.  They may actually move to suburbia, while the suburban girl will spend the rest of her life dreaming about the countryside, but will never actually dare go there because it will not provide the comfortable materialistic lifestyle she craves.  His wardrobe would offend her eyes, for he probably wears trucker hats with oversized sleeveless nascar t-shirts.  He may even be seen wearing overalls.  However, variation in fashion does occur.  Sometimes one will find the gangsta look quite in vogue amongst the young angsty population.  These gangstas in particular wish for nothing more than to escape the doldrums of the countryside abyss.  In addition, the country boy likely has a crude mouth, is extremely politically incorrect, likely conservative, and an avid fan of conspiracy theories.  Chances are, if these girls ever met real country boys, they would not like them.

In conclusion, what suburbanite females desire are not country boys, but poser country boys.  They want the romanticized version of the country boy with all the ribbons and frills, not the real deal.  They actually want a domesticated suburbanite man just like everyone else, just cloaked in a deceptive garb.  It is about time the poser country boy was unveiled for what he actually is, a poser.  If they so desire to be posers, that is perfectly fine, but do not continue to pretend you are not a poser.  You are trying to recreate the myth you have seen in country music videos and in hollywood productions.   At the very least, these "Country Boys" can acknowledge that their inspiration is not the countryside, but John Wayne and Garth Brooks. 

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