My musings on different political topics relevant to America today.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Professional Friends Inc.!

You know what America needs? America needs professional friends.  Lets face it, America is a lonely place.  Most people have very few close friends.  We are just simply wayyyy to busy to make time for friends.  Who needs friends anyway?  They take wayyy to much time to kindle and are sooo exhausting.  Welp! I have the answer for everyone!  Do not settle for those old fashioned wing it by the seat of your pants friendships!  Settle for Professional Friends Inc.!

Professional Friends Inc. is here for you!  Are you tired of going out of your way to meet someone?  Are you tired of boring stale conversations with your neighbors and co-workers?  Do you wish sometimes you just had the ultimate friend?! Then check out Professional Friends Inc.!  We check what your interests, hobbies, beliefs, and other factors to match you up with the perfect friend!  After you have completed your profile, we will send you matches and you can contact them if you wish.  Then, when you are ready you can organize a time and place to meet up with your new best friend!  We will guarantee 100% satisfaction with your new found friends, and if they are still not doing it for you, try our Premium Gold membership!!!

Our Premium Gold membership will provide you with our Premium Gold Friends!!!  These special friends have went through a vigorous training process by Professional Friends Inc. to carve them into the perfect friend!  These friends will talk about whatever you want!  They are perfect conversationalists and will ensure that chillaxing with them is never ever awkward!  I mean, they are paid to be your friend, so they are going to be the best friend you ever had!  Plus! If you are not satisfied with the performance of one our our Premium Gold Friends, simply call us and we will give you your money back, guaranteed!!!

We know here at Professional Friends Inc. how hard it is to make friends.  We know full well that it is simply too time consuming these days to dedicate precious resources and time to make friends.  Therefore, we are here to help make friendship a lot easier.  Just give us a call or check out our website if you wish to find out more!

Infinite Friendship for one Small Fee! Guaranteed!!!

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