My musings on different political topics relevant to America today.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Coke vs. Pepsi

There is one question that has loomed large in the minds of Americans for decades.  This question has divided Americans for a long time, and will continue to do so into the foreseeable future.  It is not whether to vote Democrat or Republican.  It is not if whether to eat a hotdog or a hamburger.  Yes, it is not even whether you are on team Edward or team Jacob.  The question that racks everyone's mind, that splinters our noggins in half, is whether to drink Coke or Pepsi.  These Soda/Pop/Coke/Carbonated Beverage makers (I shall use carbonated beverage from now on to be politically correct and to prevent from offending anyone's local and/or regional cultural variations in their terminological choices) have been in a state of war, dedicated to eachother's destruction, since the dawn of time.  It is important that every American makes an informed decision on which way they will vote next time you go to the grocery store.  Afterall, the implications of your vote, are indeed tremendous.

Coca-cola has always been the top dog, knows
it, and therefore has always felt smugly
confident about itself, never changing for nobody!
A little history is necessary to understand the true scope of this rivalry.  Coca-cola was first invented by the pharmacist John Stith Pemberton in good ol' Columbus, Georgia in 1886.  The brand Coca-cola was then bought and incorporated in 1892.  Ever since then, Americans have been enjoying themselves to a steady steam of carbonated flavored goodness.  Coca-cola, the corporation, on the other hand, has continued to prosper, drawing various drinks into its dynasty through acquisitions and expanding its market into every corner of the world.  There are few things as universally recognizable like a good ol' bottle of Coca-cola.

Now Pepsi was always the misfit cousin.  Coca-cola always got all the girls.  The story of Pepsi will make you feel a little sorry for him.  Its a story of big dreams and a massive insecurity complex.  It was first created as "Brad's drink" (I know sounds like some hipster drink you would find at Starbucks or something) by a certain Caleb Bradham in 1898.  In 1903, suffering from insecurity issues, it renamed itself Pepsi-cola to make itself look more like its more popular cousin.  Nevertheless, it shot off quickly and soon was satisfying Americans tastebuds all over the nation.  In 1909 it received its first endorsement by the celebrity/race car driver Barney Oldfield, who called it "A bully drink...refreshing, invigorating, a fine bracer before a race."

Pepsi, suffering from insecurity issues, has
tried to pretend its hip and cool to make up
for its lack of confidence.
Even though it was off to a good start, it would soon enter times of sorrow.  It filed bankruptcy during the great depression, and could have been bought by Coca-Cola a number of times (I bet Coca-Cola is really regretting it didn't now he he).  However, it quickly rebounded, as it always does, by dissing on Coca-cola.  It made a new 12-ounce bottle that cost the same as Coca-cola's 6-ounce bottle, naturally people liked the sound of that.  Ever since then the rivalry has been intense, both looking to undercut the other at every opportunity.  In the 70's Pepsi started the "Cola Wars" claiming that the results of a taste test proved people prefer Pepsi. Pepsi has constantly tried to reinvent itself, trying to measure up to its rival, but has constantly fallen short.  Coca-cola still has a considerable edge over it in market share despite Pepsi's best efforts.  Pepsi seems destined to always be the misfit cousin.

All this history to bring us to today.  Now of course the rivalry has much more at stake than these two drinks.  There are all the other drinks the two corporations sell.  Mountain Dew has always been a big seller for Pepsi, while Sprite has been a big seller for Coca-cola.  Americans must make informed choices about these brands.  Pepsi for example owns Taco Bell, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Pizza Hut.  Mountain Dew will always be the gamers' choice of soda.  Meanwhile Coca-cola clearly tastes better.  I have yet to meet someone that actually prefers the taste of Pepsi versus the taste of Coke.  Yet when it comes to the other brands offered on the side, I would say Pepsi wins, mainly because of Mountain Dew.  Its a toss up for me, but in the end I vote for Pepsi, mainly because I like Mountain Dew.  Plus, I like rooting for the little guy.  Pepsi needs the moral support.  It needs some encouragement.  He has never felt good enough, lets make him feel better about himself.

So anyways!  Now you guys should all vote!  It would interesting to get a tally of what you guys think!    Just comment below this article with either "Pepsi" or "Coca-cola" as your answer!  Remember to consider them as corporate entities, and all the brands they sell, not just their namesakes.  Alright! Let the vote begin!

1 vote Pepsi baby!

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